Nice Guys Finish First

Buckle up, Megan, because it’s time for a sociology lesson. Today I bring to the drawing board, a Utilitarian process called The Prisoner’s Dilemma.

The first thing you need to know is about Utilitarian Theory. It’s one of the four main Sociological Theories (I generally only refer to three and this is the fourth). It’s a micro theory that envelops the idea of cost versus benefit. Because it’s micro, it looks at individuals and says basically that people are constantly weighing costs and benefits and that’s how we make decisions, is if the benefits outweigh the costs. This is all relative to the person of course,  because everyone values different things and therefore different things benefit people in different ways. For a quick example that’ll put this in perspective, if offered a cheeseburger or a turkey sandwich, I would immediately choose the turkey sandwich because of my own personal preferences and the benefit of eating turkey outweighs the cost of bad tasting food for me. Someone else however might choose the burger or even the turkey again, but for a completely different reason.

Anywhoo, the Prisoner’s Dilemma. You may have heard of it. The traditional idea goes like this: Two people are arrested and convicted of the same but separate crimes. They have no way to communicate with each other. Each is going to go to prison, but the length of time is undetermined at this point and they are offered a bargain. Thanks Wikipedia:

• If A and B each betray the other, each of them serves 2 years in prison
• If A betrays B but B remains silent, A will be set free and B will serve 3 years in prison (and vice versa)
• If A and B both remain silent, both of them will only serve 1 year in prison (on the lesser charge)

So basically the prisoners dilemma deals with 2 groups whether they be individuals, groups or even nations, in a situation in which what each of them do affects what happens to the other. The idea is to maximize benefits and minimize costs. Rationally, the optimal outcome is not ideal because one person is loosing too much and the best idea would be to break even. So now I have like a thousand examples for you of where I’ve seen this and how it works.

The first is an example we were shown in class. Take a few minutes to watch this.

This one is a riddle my father used to tell me that kind of uses this process. It goes like this: You wake up in the middle of the desert with no idea how you got there or where “there” is. You want to find civilization again but there’s nothing as far as you can see in any direction so you just start walking hoping to run into someone. You finally run into a tent. On the outside of the tent there is a picture of two identical men and a sign that says, “One of us always lies and one of us always tells the truth. You may ask us one question.” What question do you ask? (I’ll give you the answer later, but you have to honestly give this one some thought)

Here’s another one that was just mentioned in class.

The thing that’s so important with this process is that your own values play into it. On one hand you have the actual situation in which you have to decide if you trust the other person to do the “right” thing and make the decision that will allow you both to walk away with the maximum mutual benefit and lowest mutual cost. On the other hand though, you have your mores and values, your integrity trying to persuade you to do what is actually right. So which do you choose?

This one’s a little more popular, but in this situation, Wesley had values that the other is unaware of which gives him an advantage.

My (maybe) last example is from the best show ever, here. Now I haven’t completely figured out how this one applies this process because it really hurts my head to think about, but I guarantee I will figure it out once I’m not so sleep deprived. I think it would also be interesting to see how Looking Glass self applies to this situation but that’s a project for another day.

Anyways I think that’s all of my examples and I hope you’ve learned a lot. Remind me to tell you the answer to the riddle when you’ve thought about it some.

❤ Annee

It May Get Loud

Prequel: There’s no such thing as Annee taking too long to write. This creative talent takes time. Also I’m on vacation. Also I’ve been resisting the urge to write about politics, but fortunately for you, that will be saved for my other blog for now.

Chapter 1: Once upon a time blah blah blah I was younger like 11 or 12 ish and my dad was dating women and we’d gone down to Utah so he could meet one of them and we stayed at her house which was huge and like all vintage and cool but also cluttered. One significant thing I remember about the house was the bathroom because the bathtub was like one of those old ones with golden feet and a shower curtain that wrapped all the way around and it was difficult figuring out how to work it. Anywhoo this was like during the time of the big names, ya know. It was all Justin Bieber’s “baby baby baby oooh” and Ke$ha’s “The party don’t start ’til I walk in.” There was still some high school musical making it’s way around but other things had taken over and it was becoming uncool to like hsm. I’m pretty sure Hannah Montana was dying down a bit too and I don’t recall whether or not she was *spoiler* Miley Cyrus yet. So the lady my dad was meeting had a daughter a little older than me and she had a friend over while we were there. They were kind of bratty and they were talking to me about what I liked and they asked me what kind of music I liked. This was kind of a pivotal moment in my life because up til then my music consisted basically of The Brady Bunch Theme Song and The Hamster dance which my mom had instilled upon my mp3 player. Now don’t be judging just yet, I had Barbie Girl and The Flintstones too. (Reasons for this lack of music: 1. No tv 2. My parents controlled the radio 3. I had no older siblings to introduce me to “cool”) Let it be known for the record that I did have a popular Hilary Duff cd a family friend had got for me which I listened to at least once a day until I was ten or so. So basically I had no answer to give these girls. What was I supposed to say? The scooby doo theme song? The chicken dance? Hymns and primary songs? I vetoed all of these and opted for telling them I didn’t really like music. They were very surprised at this and began quizzing me on popular artists but I had heard of none of them. So there it was. I’m pretty sure they began ignoring/excluding me a little while after that.

Chapter 2: Introducing Lisa McHan. This girl had several older siblings as well as parents that were very into music, hence Lisa knowing all the popular music. Mix this with countless mornings and afternoons on the bus listening to 94.3 KTPZ and Ryan Seacrest and pretty soon I was well versed in the world of the up and coming Bruno Mars, Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Train, Owl City, Fun, Maroon 5, Rihanna and Eminem. Yep, I was cool. I knew all the words. I knew every song by a good number of the artists I listed and listened to them mixed with the Twilight Soundtracks all the time. Great, right? Teenage Dream was one of my favorites and of course, I loved Just the Way You Are, and Misery was a necessary song for life. It was great. I bonded with so many people as we sang along to Soul Sister and did a duet to Eminem/Rihanna songs. Now when I hear these songs, I think of them.

Chapter 3: Flash forward to now. You never would have thought, right? My music list is so extensive it is beaten by few. I have tons of playlists for different situations, people, dances, you name it. Now my life is so engrossed in music that I practically think in song lyrics. Every time I go to write a blog post,  the first place I look is at song lyrics. Basically here’s a sum up of my playlists:

1. Everything-this one has, you guessed it, everything. All the songs I add on spotify. This is what I listen to in general. It excludes Holiday music (with 2 exceptions—NSYNC and Parachute are too important), “writing” music (exceptions: yiruma and phidel) Song count:2,701
2. Discover Weekly and (new) Release Radar. These are made by spotify for me each week. This is where I find the majority of my music. Song count: 60 (refreshed weekly)
3. … (literal name of playlist). When I make playlists, I think about them for days ahead of time. I know what’s going on them and what it will all sound like when it’s finished. It’s a big thing for me, making a playlist. This one happened over a week or so. I had a couple of songs that just really went together in my head. Then a couple more. I just haven’t figured out why they go together yet. Song count: 6
4. Battle Songs—BAM KABOOM CRASH BANG Going off to fight for freedom or win the Olympics or something. Song count: 43
5. I Won’t Hit Skip—This came about accidentelly and has since progressed. My shower music consists of A) Parachute’s Wide Awake or B) One Direction’s Made In the A.M.. So I might have mixed them together into a beautiful concoction in which a few other artists got thrown in. It’s beautiful. Song Count: 51
6. Stars—Song Count: 49
7. Then I have a folder of dance playlists: Cha Cha, Waltz, Foxtrot, East Coast, Rumba, Samba, Nightclub Two-Step, Viennese Waltz, Wast Coast, Blues, Lindy Hop, Line Dances and Dance. I refuse to comment on all of these and find the song counts for each because that would take years. But I will comment on Dance. Dance has songs about  dance. So good.
8. Next we have my For People folder. Shelby, Gabe,Cami, Dominick, Lisa, Taha, my Mom, Maddy, Riley, You, and Grace. It started with Grace but I associate songs with people and also there are just songs that some people would like that I don;t like and songs that I just need them to hear so kabam, a ton more playlists.
9. Next folder is called Special Playlists. These one’s are mine. There’s one called Feel Pretty. It’s all the songs about being pretty or beautiful or whatever. It’s one to listen to while you get ready. Then there’s Places to Be, which is exactly what it says. I imagine it would be good for a road trip. Next is Love Me, which is the songs that I like to imagine a cute boy is singing to me. Speak to Me is songs that sing to my soul and put my heart into words. Sing to Me, Sing to You is a playlist of songs to sing to a baby, a lover, a friend, or to have sung to you. Soothe is the equivalent of a Pinterest board I have. It’s those pretty songs that will calm the storm in my head. Then there’s Sing to Sleep which is similar to the previous two but more intended for sleep.
10. Writing Folder comes next and it only has three playlists. The first is simply Writing(243). This is my focus music. Scores from great movies and more piano music. Great for late night writing or background music. Then there’s two playlists for each of my main writing projects, my fanfiction(124) and my Superhero(9) story. These playlists aren’t for me—they are for whoever decides to read my stories.
11. Last but certainly not least is my folder of For Later. There’s a recent playlist called I Need More of You(23) which is simply songs of which by the artist i need more songs from. It’s people to watch. There’s a Feel the Spirit(108) playlist for Sunday mornings. Lots of acapella. Next is a Christmas playlist(182) which is just GOLD. I am not fond of all traditional music and instead prefer covers by my favorite artists. SO when NSYNC and Christina Perri and Michael Buble sing great songs to me about the holidays, I’m all ears. Next is a Pretend Wedding Reception Playlist(74) which is wayyyyy too long for an actual reception and I realize this but I can’t imagine it without them. Lastly is a playlist called Annee! This is all of my songs. The ones with my name in them I mean, or from my movies(50).

Epilogue: Sorry I got lazy and skipped a bunch of numbers as to how long the playlists are. Just know that they are really long. I don’t know exactly how my life went from “not liking music” to music being such a huge thing to the point where I pay $5 a month just to listen without ads and to listen to whatever I want, whenever and wherever I want. My parents also pay for XM radio for me so that I have music everywhere I go. I’m spoiled but in the words of Parachute speaking to music, I could never live this life without you. So I guess that’s it. May all your favorite bands stay together. 

❤ Annee

Deep Sea

Dear Megan,

Sometimes I go on profound internet searches. Sometimes I just get distracted and don’t know where I end up. You know this about me. This is why I ended up looking at the Wikipedia page for Holocaust Victims when I started on the page for Socks 20 minutes earlier (thanks Stephen). Both are very interesting pages. The page on Jokes is also like one of my favorite things ever since I read to you a good portion of the page in place of telling you a joke.

This is also how I ended up looking at the scariest and most beautiful fish in the ocean. Really, those things can be freaking terrifying. I don’t recommend looking them up unless you need to stay awake for a long time in which case, I can point you in a lot of different directions. For example, this is one of my favorites. I also really enjoy this and will probably totally do this in my house after I finish planting the garden I’m waiting on. I could probably give you more links to creepy things but—wait, actually just a couple more but these are more interesting than creepy. First of all, I enjoy the Wikipedia page for Death. It’s way interesting. This one though is also entertaining. And my personal favorite: here.

Now that you’re questioning my sanity, here’s my boredom/anxiety killers. They’re lovely internet places. This is best if you’re alone. It’s for one of those nights when nothing is going right and you are feeling so many things and you just want to let it all out but the last thing you want to do is call a friend (even though I’m obvs always here for you).This is best on touchscreen, and can be really soothing. This one‘s new to me, but so far seems to fix essentially any problem. This works both for annoying others as well as entertaining yourself. This one is best for the times when you’re a little lonely or really missing someone.  This last one I can watch for hours and never get bored. You’re probably questioning my sanity again with that one. I swear I’m normal.

The internet is a deep sea. It can be such a useful place, or it can be completely offensive. (Disclaimer on language with that last one). Sometimes it’s happy  and other times it makes you mad or even sad. It’s amazing that we have so many things at our fingertips, and yet so much of the time we’re bored. That’s partially why I’ve taken to reading up on random topics, or things we should know more about. There is so much to learn in this world. There’s also a lot of things to waste our time on. I tend to think a balance of both is healthy. Sometimes I’m just so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things out there. There’s so much music I have, but there’s so much more I haven’t heard that surely I would love. There’s so many books still to read, movies to watch, people to meet. The list is endless. All I can hope for myself is that I can spend my time wisely and get to know as much as I can about this little planet while I’m here.

Love you!

❤ Annee

Visions of the Future

Dear Megan,

You once said to me “It’s 2015, why don’t we have batteries that never run out.” To which I responded, “It’s 2016…”

We laughed about this and it ended up being a card on our quote wall but that’s besides the point. My sociology class really had me thinking today. We’re always coming up with hypothetical ways to make the world around us better, easier, more user friendly yet it seems like very few people actually do anything about it. I’m as lazy as the next person so I don’t know that I’ll actually do anything about it either but here’s some ideas for things(technology edition) we could create/improve that would make the world so much better (in Annee’s world that is).

First of all, Spotify. Spotify is a beautiful creation with many wonderful features such as Discover Weekly and playlists and radios and everything customized to your taste and it’s grand. But there’s a few ideas I have to improve Spotify.

1.  Stats—how much time you listen on a daily/weekly/monthly basis, how many times you’ve listened to a specific song, etc. (so basically the year sum up they offer but available all the time)
2. Search/sort by time signatures (Something that will mean something to dance and music people and nothing to the rest of the world which is perfectly okay)
3. Freaking Beats or Measures Per minute (see previous statement)
4. Search for keywords by saved artists (this would make my search for songs with the word “dance” a lot easier)

Secondly, Universal chargers. For everything. Need I say more?

Third, Advanced Netflix. Obviously we can’t just have free movies or illegally downloaded or whatever all the time, but the Netflix/Hulu selection is also pretty narrow and constantly changing. Can’t we just have like every movie every for one fixed monthly price? I know it’s a lot to ask for but I just really wanna watch Ice Princess and it’s not on netflix and I don’t have it.

Fourth, I(diot)-learn could use some improvements. How about just one universal homework base that works? *insert sociological rant and discussion here*

I’m sure I’m missing a ton but I actually have to do homework now so maybe we’ll just update this post later. And remember this was only the beginning—the technology edition 😉

❤ Annee

The Road to Armageddon: A Spiritual Documentary

Dear Megan,

People say: “It’s not the end of the world. It will get better.”

Annee says: “Shut up.”

Maybe it is the end of the world. Or at least someone’s world, okay? *Quantum physics rant of theories about how maybe every time something bad happens in my world then maybe a parallel world explodes*

This year has been one big bunch of suck. January was…well to put it lightly the beginning of hell. February was full on hell and hospital visits. March was, well you know. And April. Blessed April. It was a series of stupid things that made me regret a good portion of the last six months. Now, it’s May 2nd and already something terribly world exploding has happened today so maybe we’re in the clear for the rest of the month.

Every single one of these things has been my own personal either A) piece of Armageddon or B) Circle of hell (take your pick). And yet still, people continue to say “Hi Annee! How are you?” And that question just makes me want to punch people in the face. They don’t actually want to know because you don’t really want to know about my Armageddon. If I tell them, they’ll just say “It’s not the end of the world. It will get better.” Yeah, it might get better, or my year might continue to suck. Unless that person is a certified teller of the future I am not inclined to listen to them. The thing is, is that so many of these things have felt like the end of the world. It doesn’t matter if they actually are, or whether things will be better tomorrow, next week or five years from now. What matters is that right now, these things hurt, and they’re real and they are causing me to feel like it’s the end of my world. I don’t want this, and I don’t ask for it or make it worse than it is. To me, these things are hard.

People are insensitive and don;t understand. Armageddon is different for everyone. One person caught in an earthquake won’t know the struggle of someone stuck in a famine. The same is so in life.

❤ Cynical Annee

Christian Dilemmas

Dear Megan,

My father always used to complain about people in church not relaying a story before going on to use it’s teachings. His problem was when they said “You all know the story of (insert story name here).” I never really had a problem with it, because I usually could grasp what the story was about or read the chapter headings and figure it out. Still, growing up with convert parents made it a little more difficult to know the stories that everyone knew and was familiar with.

I didn’t really realize the extent of this problem until Lisa’s farwell where she, I and several other kids our age gave talks. We just spoke on what we’d learned being at college mostly, but there were also teachings from scripture stories shared and sure enough the phrase “You all know the story of” came up again. Lisa had several friends who’d come to see her speak in the audience and a good portion of them were not members of the church. They’d never even been to our church and so when a name like Nephi came up, they were completely lost. One of the girls asked before Sacrament Meeting started if we clapped for talks. I realized during this meeting how much we assume in the church.

Even today in church I heard some of these phrases and to my appeasing, the teacher in Sunday School asked for someone to relay the story before we discussed what we can learn from it. In Relief Society today (the meeting for women), the teacher used teachings from a Primary (kids) lesson. It’s in the simplicity of these redundant matters that I find strength and happiness. In Sacrament meeting, one brother said “We’re all members of the church here and have (insert things we have) because of it.” Even though we go to a church school where yes, the majority of the population is members of the same church, we still have those of other faiths attending our meetings and classes that we shouldn’t be ignorant to.

Ever since Lisa’s farewell, I’ve realized the significance of simple principles. It doesn’t matter that we’ve heard the story of Nephi going to get the brass plates, someone will not remember or have ever heard the story. Refreshers are good. And it may be that the entire class is like I used to be, wondering why we have to listen to the same story and same doctrine over and over but there really is so many reasons for it. Not only is it for the people who haven’t heard or don’t remember, but it’s also for those of us who have heard. It’s for those principles to be pounded into us again and again until one day we can wake up and say “I get it” and then thank the Lord and go to work to show it.

There’s going to be so much more doctrine that we recieve and stories we get, but if we can’t learn from what we already have, what good does it do? What would happen if the Brethren leading the church got up in General Conference one day and said “That’s it. You don’t study what you already have so we’re not saying anything more until you can learn from what we’ve given you”?

We treat our doctrine in such a manner of annoyance that we don’t realize the real reasons we have to hear the stories over and over. It’s for us, and it’s for the others who aren’t as familiar with it. So the solution from Annee (because obvs I have all the answers)? Listen. Pray. Go to work. Teach others. Do the primary answers—pray, read your scriptures and go to church. Simple is good. Simple makes a difference and simple is how testimonies are built and strengthened. Foundations are required for stability.

Love, Annee

Banaz, A love Story

Dear Megan,

Let me just start by saying that I have no clue who Banaz is but this Documentary certainly looks interesting and it has super high ratings so the next time there’s a movie night with Megan and Annee then I’m going to recommend this over the Documentaries on Disembodied Feet. Love is such a weird thing.

“Love: the deadliest of all things. It kills you when you have it and when you don’t”—Lauren Oliver.

I find that to be the truest statement.

We live in a Mormon Culture Bubble where our school is known for love and for it’s ability to get people married off in short spans of time and for eternity, no less! To anyone on the outside, this seems strange and unreasonable. And it kind of is. Everyone wants to know your relationship status, and everyone wants to influence it. This doesn’t help when you mix in Fruedian theories of suppressed id’s and all that causes. I honestly don’t think we can go a week without asking anyone about their relationship status. And if we’re not the one asking, we’re likely on the other side with being asked.

Riley just left on a date *party dance* and I’ve got a date that should be here any minute and it’s only the first week of school. Granted we have our apartment reasons for this, but still the culture is shoved upon us by our professors, church leaders, peers, and family. So is it a good thing? Should we continue to push this culture? What would happen if everyone dated for just a few months longer before getting engaged (your mind’s probably going back to that suppressed id)?

…….*intermission for Annee’s “sweet” date*……..

I have no clue where I was going with that so instead changing directions. Date Etiquette that most people don’t probably know but should follow anyways according to Annee/Other Sources:

1. Girl should have the best view of the restaurant (so I’ve heard is proper) which my date did actually not do but that’s okay, I prefered the window view tonight.

2. Guy should stand on street side of sidewalk when walking places. My date excelled at this.

3. Meet the roommates! They are the college family and just like meeting the parents you should meet the people who will kill you if you break her heart.

4. Girls should be clear in their wording at the end of a date. Don’t say you would love to do it again if you don’t want to go out with them again. Tell them you had a good time and to have a good evening and leave it at that instead of giving them false expectations. Also remember to text them to let them know you had a good time, but don’t do it immediately after the date. Give it a day. There’s a rule they can’t text you first though so don’t get all upset if they don’t text you. It’s your turn.

5. Neither party should try anything on the first date. No kissing, hand holding or anything else. It won’t lead anywhere good. Get to know each other as friends. Give each other a hug at the end of the date and leave it at that. But still, guys should do all the gentlemanly things like opening doors and letting the lady go first and such.

Lastly, spiel on dances for dates as it applies to people who are not already exclusive with their date.

Pros:

-dancing

-something cheap to do

Cons:

-awkward if you can’t dance

-other people wanting to dance with you

-during instruction, instructors will either a)make you switch partners anyways or b)make you feel awkward by asking if you are committed to your partner

I hope you’ve enjoyed what turned into Annee’s Dating Guide. Tune in next time for How to Fix Your Marriage 😉

❤ Annee

Documentaries on Disembodied Feet

Dear Megan,

When I was little, I had a box of treasures. Several of them actually. One of the boxes, I’d got in Sunday School. It was a hexagon with a lid that flipped open and inside I kept mostly things that I planned to decorate the box with. There was another box, a little green one that I kept in the bottom of my jewelry box. It looked like a treasure chest. The biggest box I had was one I’d received for Christmas one year, my brothers getting matching ones. I kept the majority of my treasures in this one. My treasures were things like plastic toy frogs I had to hide from my brothers, rocks that had gone through my rock tumbler, beads from broken necklaces and bracelets, pins from fair booths advertising businesses, notebooks that had all of my secrets in them, and stickers I hadn’t yet put in my sticker book.

Why were these things special to me you’d probably ask my seven year old self. I don’t know. Maybe it was because I’d found them on a good day and I thought they would bring me good luck. Maybe it was simply because my brothers didn’t know they existed. Maybe it was because I couldn’t find any real treasures and so I valued meaningless things. Treasures only have value if we allow them to, right? Like how diamonds are so expensive despite their extensive quantity? Why does anything have real value? What makes it have value? Is it simply our decision to allow it to have worth? Then where does our value come from?

So what would be in my treasure box now? If I had a treasure box of us Megan, it would have:

• a dinosaur (a real one—I’m putting whatever I want in this treasure box)
• a star (again, a real one)
• bottles holding our favorite smells
• a joke book
• lemonheads & optimism
• bubbles
• Documentaries on Disembodied feet (to commemorate all the strange things we do to entertain each other)
• Juice!

• A little bit of spring, summer, winter and fall
• A secret
• Love

Maybe value only exists because we make it exist. Like time and stress. Or maybe some universal force causes the thing to have value. I don’t know, but I do know what I value. I would need a thousand billion treasure boxes to contain all the things that have worth to me. But why box them up? Maybe I’ll just let the world see my treasures…

Love, Annee 🙂